‘If you have never been physically, emotionally or mentally abused, how can you be ready for marriage?’ – random comedian on Netflix.
Everyone argues once in a while. My parents, married for 27 years next week, argue. Sing and I argue. Everyone does. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
If you tell me that you and your significant other do not argue, you’re either together too short or you’re lying to me.
I don’t mean a violent argument when you throw thing onto each other, I rather think of a healthy argument when a couple can get rid of excessive tension.
No infamous 14 slaps (click here to read more) incidents.
Life is not an Instagram or Tumblr. I think nowadays a lot of people are ashamed that they argue with their partner. We tend to spend to much time online, looking for a validation of our relationship in likes under pictures or followers, comparing to others. We see those sweet pictures or these smiling couples and think ‘I bet their relationship is perfect, they definitely don’t fight’. Because of this some people might look down on their own relationship.
Why it is socially acceptable to complain about fashion industry showing unrealistic body types, but no one ever mentions the unrealistic relationships we are fed through social media?
I know there’s no point into putting your drama online, but if you believe that someone has perfect life just based on what they want to show you, then you’re going to be shocked one day.
I never tried to deny the downs in our relationship and marriage. With our families (ekhm, Momzilla…), we are two different people, having their own habits, growing up in different environments. Of course if you put the two of us together 24/7 sooner or later some argument will break out.
Sing and I sleep, work and live together. If that’s not the perfect fuel to the arguments? Add hormones and Irish weather to it and I can guarantee a fight.
I sometimes get so upset I just mumble to myself ‘I’m going to punch you in the face’. Even my coworkers asked me when I’m finally going to do that because so far these are only empty promises.
We are at the point in life that all the dust settled down, butterflies in stomach are dead and we just carry one with our love. It’s nothing bad – I love him to death, I wouldn’t allow him to get hurt in any way, if he flies without me I can’t get good sleep but instead of that young, passionate and crazy love we moved on to the next stage – parents with young children cuddling in the morning in bed like in commercials, but we actually don’t have a baby, we have a cat instead. It also needs our care, can be annoying to death but wouldn’t give Biscuit the asshole cat away. We now have more pictures of our cat and food than kissing selfies.
I hope you get the idea of what I try to say.
I sound very old for just a nearly 26 year old with 5 years of marriage experience, but I think I grew up a lot comparing to few years ago.
I was really bad at arguing. I would get upset really fast, stop talking at all or put our cat between myself and Sing so he cannot hug me after the fight. Very childish of me. And Biscuit hated it as well!
I cannot compare to those of you married for 10-15 or more years, but I want to share with you what I learnt over the years.
Here are my rules to healthy arguing with your partner!
There will always be a little frustration or anger in everyone, so instead of keeping it in yourself (to the point that one day ‘Do you want some coffee?’ will be read as ‘It’s all your fault’), just let the steam go away. Not to mention all that making up afterwards!
I’m so blessed with probably the most patient husband, he is annoying and I sometimes really want to punch him but I will just go ahead, kill his Lego character in Lego Marvel and let it go.
We both got more mature (although sentence above states differently) and I hope thanks to this post some of you will be able to relate to our situation.
What are your rules to arguing? Are you the more calm in the relationship or are you just like me? Let us know what you think, we would love to read your comments!